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Emily Post Uncovered

EtiquetteI pulled out my copy of Emily Post’s Etiquette* today. I referenced her in my blog introduction. And while I’m not researching manners, I am easily offended, by people like the dentist or nurses in the doctor’s office or PTA presidents.  I wondered how more of her etiquette discourse might translate from 1922 to 2009.

I admit, I judged this author well before I ever read her. For years, mention of Emily Post threw me into flashbacks of meals at my sorority house.

Every Sunday we had a formal dinner. We were strongly encouraged to dress up and attend. Most of us showed up more for the house boys who served us, than for the food. One Sunday dinner, a visiting alum–or Emily Post groupie perhaps–gave a captivating presentation on the mysteries of the salad vs. dinner vs. dessert fork. On another occasion, my fellow sisters called me out to run around the table in my formal dress, while they clapped and sang an embarrassing reminder to “keep your elbows off the table, Christi Craig!” I assumed Emily Post set out with one purpose: to transform young sorority girls like us into proper women, “best society,” as she calls it in her book. After too many Sunday dinners, and several Women’s Studies courses under my belt, I left the sorority house and slammed the door on Emily Post.

Then, today, I read her definition of “best society”:

Best society is not at all like a court with an especial queen or king, nor is it confined to any one place or group, but might better be described as an unlimited brotherhood which spreads over the entire surface of the globe, the members of which are invariably people of cultivation and wordly knowledge (p. 2).

I fell into a moment of silence. I thought she only went as deep as cloth napkins and formal invitations. But, here she speaks against separate camps, in favor of “unlimited” brotherly love, and for international relations. A little further into the chapter, she says, “etiquette must, if it is to be of more than trifling use, include ethics as well as manners” (p. 3). Emily Post should be required reading in Political Science, I think: politics and etiquette, etiquette in politics.

I’m sure, well into the book, Ms. Post dives into details on when to wear gloves, how to serve tea, and how to behave in public. Still, I imagine that reading Etiquette could be like an archeological dig. Underneath all the niceties, I may find evidence of the true Emily Post: the woman behind the fan, the woman with her hat off and her hair down, the woman who wrote about manners in order to publish her own philosophy on life.

* Post, Emily. Etiquette. United States of America: Funk & Wagnalls Company, 1922.

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Finding my focus

A little over a year ago, I decided to investigate my passion for writing. Actually, I was kicked into gear by a good friend. She heard me complain, just about enough, about someone else’s pursuit into writing.

“You know, you’re just jealous. Why don’t you take some action for yourself?”

Maybe those weren’t the exact words, but I remember jealous and take action. I started off with small commitments: work through The Artist’s Way, start a blog. I signed up for National Novel Writing Month, thinking what have I got to lose? Then, I passed the NaNoWriMo 50,000 word benchmark, and I fell into a frenzy of sorts.

I took two online writing classes with Ariel Gore, back to back. I submitted several pieces to lit mags, reworked a few more, joined some writing sites, started another blog. Been reading on writing. Been staying up too late.  Shut down my laptop after midnight, only to open it five minutes later to change the last line of a late night blog post.

In such a frenzy, I lose sight of my reason for writing (not to mention, sleep). So, I recently made a list of my little successes in one short year. I held off on submitting a few pieces that, a week ago, I thought I just had to get out there. And, I honed in on this quote yesterday:

Remind me each day that the race is not always to the swift; that there is more to life than increasing its speed. Let me look upward into the towering oak and know that it grew great and strong because it grew slowly and well.” –Orin L. Crain

I don’t know anything about Orin L. Crain. But, I love this quote, and this gentle reminder, that becoming a writer is only a race in my mind.

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Awarded the chance to share.

Tamara, who writes Little Conversations, shared a blog award with me:

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My thanks to Tamara, as this award gives me a chance to think about 10 things that describe who I am as a person and a writer. The award suggests 10 secrets, but don’t our secrets reveal our person? Plus, as the award must be passed on to others, I can share links to a few worthy blogs I read on a regular basis:

The Writing Vein
Monpon
Writing, Reading, & Reflections
Mama C and the Boys
House of Sand and Fog

Now, to 10 things you might, or might not, care to know about me:

1 I vacillate between thinking I have something to write about and wondering, who do I think I am?

2 My first collection of short stories was written on a small spiral notebook about a young crush with curly red hair. If he only knew….

3 I believe in Karma, what goes around comes around. If I’m kind to my writing colleagues, I hope they will be kind to me.

4 I’m often a cynic when it comes to politics, religion, and facebook.

5 I write morning pages every day. While I love them, I haven’t deciphered the difference between the purpose of them versus my personal journals. Maybe the latter fills up faster with rants and raves.

6 I write “looking forward to working with you” way too often in emails and letters. There must be an alternative.

7 I’d rather have strangers read my writing than my own family.

8 Margaret Atwood has been one of my favorite authors, ever since I read The Handmaid’s Tale and The Edible Woman.

9 My mother always wanted me to write a book about her. I wonder if she would haunt me from beyond if I really did.

10 Writing blog posts takes me much longer than I think it should. But, then, I’m a perfectionist at times.

If you made it through these 10, you’re very kind (good Karma headed your way).