I’ve written before about my belief in a Power greater than myself that helps me maneuver through life. And, writing (no plea is too silly). I’m not alone. When it comes to writing, plenty of authors talk about a spiritual nature that took them from here to there and well beyond their imagination. Today I welcome Trish Ryan, author of the memoir, He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, who tells us a little about her journey and her encounters with that “still small voice” (or, not so small as it may be).
My Journey from Dreaming to Doing
I didn’t always want to be a writer. In college, a professor thought I’d make a good lawyer, and I grabbed that vision and ran with it.
A few years later, I was a litigation associate at a mid-sized firm in Philadelphia, defending grocery stores against plaintiffs who’d injured themselves slipping on produce. I wasn’t clear why I was doing this, and billing my time in six-minute increments made me so miserable I could barely face Mondays.
I left law to pursue a graduate degree, but soon had a chance to work for a bestselling author. That’s where I learned what life as an author looks like, how it doesn’t have to be long hours sequestered in some garret, perfecting the prose; it can be capturing sentences whenever they occur, letting the world wait a moment while you jot down an idea. That, I could do.
I jotted my own sentences on restaurant napkins and odd pieces of paper. The trouble was, I had lots of ideas about how life works, but no story. Good writing is about what happens when our ideas intersect with real life. For that, I had to to wait.
A few years later, I was at a family funeral, driving down the road feeling pitiful, thinking about my cousins and their amazing families. I’d tried and failed repeatedly at romance, and wondered if I’d ever make it work. At a stoplight, I heard a voice in my head that sounded (don’t laugh!) like James Earl Jones. He said, “I have more for you. I have a husband for you, a family…everything you want. But you need to take Jesus seriously.” It’s a sign of how unhappy I was that my response wasn’t surprise or questions, but simply, “Well, okay. If it’ll help…”
I was fairly sure no one else in Cambridge, Massachusetts was taking Jesus seriously; I figured I’d need to move to Nashville or Tulsa, get some high hair and some awkward-looking clothes. But if it would improve my chances to build a happy life, I was willing to try.
Then a friend told me about a church our city where there were real Christians. The next Sunday I went, feeling like an anthropologist observing a rare tribe that has wandered from its habitat. I was surprised: by the smart, friendly people, by a sermon that made sense, and by how I felt when I left: hopeful, like a small door was opening and I wanted to walk through and see what was on the other side.
On the other side, it turns out, was my husband. Now I had a story. I decided to write a book to encourage women that God cares about our romantic lives.
As I wrote, I studied the publishing industry: Did I need an agent? How should a book proposal be structured? What would make my query letter compelling? I spent hours pouring over author and agent websites, learning how to give my project legs in this business.
I picked an agent to query – I’d read and liked two books by authors she represented. She didn’t typically take on spiritual titles, but she’d just had lunch with an editor who’d said, “I’m looking for something like Eat, Pray, Love, only Jesus-ey…”
That editor bought the project, and helped me shape He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not: A Memoir of Finding Faith, Hope & Happily Ever After into a book that appeals to readers of all faiths (or none at all). Two years later, I published A Maze of Grace: A Memoir of Second Chances, about figuring out how to live into this idea of happily ever after.
Now, I have a bigger dream: a bookstore shelf filled with books written by me and others, each sharing stories of what happens when you believe more is possible in life than circumstances might suggest.
We just put out a new edition of He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not, and it includes a preview of my new project, The Courage to Ask: Thoughts on Praying for A Husband. In all of this, moving from dreaming to doing still comes down to what I learned working for that author all those years ago: grab ideas and write them down when they occur. Let the words and the work pile up in small segments, day after day, then see how they weave together. Learn and adapt as you go. Push through until you type, The End. This is how dreams become reality.
Trish Ryan is an author, speaker, and writing consultant. She lives outside Boston, Massachusetts with her husband Steve and their genetically improbable mixed-breed dog, Kylie. She is the author of two memoirs about the intersection between the search for the right guy and the right God. You can connect with Trish via her website, www.Trishryanauthor.com, on Facebook (Trish-Ryan-Author) or Twitter: @Trishryan.
He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not is available for purchase HERE on Amazon.
