Deciding to Write a Memoir, Guest Post by Sandra Bornstein

I met Sandra Bornstein after posting an author interview with Erika Dreifus, as Sandra was the winner of Quiet Americans. Sandra came to the blog as a reader, but today she shares her experience as an author. She’s crafted a lovely post about the challenge in writing memoir, and she’s giving away a copy of her new book, May This Be the Best Year of Your Life. Read Sandra’s guest post below, and leave a comment for a chance to win a copy. Thanks, Sandra, for sharing your experience and your book!

“Each of us is a book waiting to be written, and that book,
if written, results in a person explained.”
~Thomas M. Cirignano, The Constant Outsider

My decision to write my memoir, MAY THIS BE THE BEST YEAR OF YOUR LIFE, reminds me of the story of Pandora’s box. For decades, I had kept most of my life’s story private and well-contained. Only a few friends and relatives were privy to my childhood and day-to-day happenings. I was content to live beneath my own personal radar screen.

However, after having the unique opportunity to live and teach in a Third World country, my opinion changed. I was not prepared for the culture shock that I experienced. Monkeys in my classroom were never anticipated. Despite these unusual disruptions, I was able to share my multicultural expertise and teaching experience in significant ways. I was the only American primary teacher on the campus.

I had an inspiring story to tell. Similar to Pandora, I did not believe that the contents should be confined for eternity. I was curious.

Could I write my compelling story and keep an audience engaged?

Would it be worth the price of revealing my life to the public?

The mere act of writing about my life unleashed a flurry of memories. Some of these memories brought a warm glow of happiness while others rekindled periods of sadness, unfairness, and despair.

By having to confront the negative aspects of my life, I clung to the belief that others would benefit from the lessons that I learned from my journey. Amidst all of the evil that was released from Pandora’s box, she was able to locate hope. Likewise, I waded through my challenging episodes and sought out the promising and encouraging moments.

Even though I was telling my story, I had to look at each chapter with a minimal amount of bias. Without the help of my developmental editor, Joe Kita, it would have been much more difficult to find an appropriate voice and locate the major threads to my story.

Part of the challenge of memoir writing is to maintain a balance between retelling a truthful story and keeping your audience engaged. Far too many authors in recent years have excessively embellished the truth in order to sell more books. Maintaining my integrity throughout was always my intended goal. Elie Wiesel was absolutely correct when he stated, “I will say, with memoir, you must be honest. You must be truthful.”

If I was not going to be true to the facts, I might as well have written a novel. However, by adhering to the truth, I ran the risk of peeling back too many protective layers that had kept my life behind closed doors for decades.

But then again, isn’t that what makes a memoir compelling? It is those tender moments when the author reveals her inner feelings and connects emotionally with the reader. In so doing, the reader walks hand-in-hand with the memoirist and relates to the real life message of the story. The author’s life becomes fully illuminated.

Sandra Bornstein, an educator with four sons, was living her version of the American dream in Colorado when her peaceful and predictable life was jolted after her husband accepted a job requiring extensive international travel. Following a series of events, Sandra ended up living by herself in a 300 square foot dorm room while teaching at a world renowned international K-12 boarding school in Bangalore, India. She adapted to an unfamiliar environment, embraced her Jewish identity, and endured deteriorating health. In her memoir, May This Be the Best Year of Your Life, Sandra shares what she has learned about perseverance, travel, education, faith, and family.

Remember: leave your name in the comments. The winner of Sandra’s memoir will be chosen on Tuesday, January 22nd.

Giving and Receiving in Writing

Last week, I introduced you to Vaughn Roycroft, who gave us wonderful tips on surviving a manuscript critique. This week, he’s hosting me on his wonderful blog, where I share about my experience working with Senior Citizens and the unexpected gifts of such connections:

Lessons for the Leader

Once a month, I gather around a table with eight to ten senior citizens and lead a creative writing class. This isn’t an ordinary writing group, and these folks aren’t your typical writers. . . . Yet, this group of writers teaches me plenty about the craft and inspires me beyond the page. They are proof that the exercise of writing sometimes plays a different role than telling the perfect story or creating a moving essay.

Read more here….

And, thank you to Vaughn for the opportunity to share my experience!

Welcome, Ilie Ruby, Author of The Salt God’s Daughter

 

If you’re a mother and a writer, you know how hard it is to make the writing happen. Some days, I’m lucky to get the skeleton of a story down on paper. Other days, I’m grateful to rewrite my to-do list. Plenty of those days, I’m up until midnight. Because balancing motherhood and writing is a daily challenge for me, I love to hear from successful authors who accept that challenge head on. And, win.

Ilie Ruby is one such author. Her new novel, The Salt God’s Daughter, has received lots of praise and attention. I’ll post my review of her book next week. But for now, Ilie stops by here today and shares with us how one mother writer makes it all happen.

Welcome, Ilie!

~

You know those color-coded schedules for families? Those charts that hang on the walls of people’s kitchens? Those have become our saving grace. I’ve had to become a very organized person, which is not at all the way that I used to be.

Internally, I was always incredibly organized in my thinking, for example when creating a novel it was easy and natural for me to remember where all the pieces fit. But externally, I was always very free-flowing and spontaneous. Three little kids later (with myriad activities and educational requirements)—I don’t have a choice but to become organized in my life as a mother.

The only way I get any writing done is to schedule my writing time in some rather strange hours—at night. I just love to write at night and I start after the kids go to sleep and then I write for four hours or so. This works for me because I am a natural night owl. 9pm has always been the high-point of my day and when I’m the most energetic and creative.

Now, I bet you want to know about sleep—when do I sleep? I’ve learned is that I don’t require as much as I thought. I’ve learned that my body is stronger than I ever knew. I always thought that as you got older, you became more frail. For me, it has been quite the opposite. In many ways, I feel younger today than I did ten years ago—healthy, strong, creative, and yes, organized!

Thanks for having me on your blog, Christi!

Ilie Ruby is the author of The Salt God’s Daughter and the critically-acclaimed novel, The Language of Trees, which was a Target Emerging Author’s Pick and a First Magazine for Women Reader’s Choice. She is also a painter, mother to three, and teaches writing in Boston.

About the Book
Set in Long Beach, California, beginning in the 1970s, The Salt God’s Daughter follows three generations of extraordinary women who share something unique—something magical and untamed that makes them unmistakably different from others. Theirs is a world teeming with ancestral stories, exotic folklore, inherited memory, and meteoric myths.

For more on her book, read Stacy Bierlein’s review and interview with Ilie at The Rumpus. You can also visit Ilie Ruby’s beautiful website, follow her on Twitter or subscribe to her Facebook page.

Interested in Mother Writer swag? Click the Mother Writer image above (and thanks to E. Victoria Flynn for providing the link).