Recently, I hung out with a group of women for a few days, on retreat. There were Fall colors, belly laughs, and snacks sprawled out on a long, buffet table — salty and sweet, free for grazing at all hours of the day or night. Someone stuffed a 12-pack of Cherry Coke in the refrigerator.
“I’m in Heaven,” I said.
At home, I stock apple juice and goldfish. Cheese-its on a good day. Oh, the thrill of Cherry Coke, and of seeing the bag of mini Heath bars in the mix on the table, too…I carried a candy bar around in my pocket, just for fun, until it melted.
I didn’t just laugh and eat, though that would have been enough. I also woke up two mornings in a row, at 7am, for Yoga, if only to balance my gluttony with a little meditation. On Sunday, I drove home with a full belly, a satisfied spirit, and a quiet reminder from a sign posted just outside the main building.
At the retreat center, running alongside the building and out into the woods, is a nature trail. The trail is mostly paved, as the center also caters to people with disabilities, but one part of the trail opens up onto a grassy path not as easily accessible by wheelchairs. Just before you step off of the pavement, there’s a sign: Trail may not be suitable, it says, travel with a friend.
I’m sure whoever made that sign didn’t think of the power behind those simple words, but I did. It hints at community.
What’s funny is that in the week following the retreat, I read a few blog posts that mentioned the same idea in regards to writing or publishing: the path is difficult, but it isn’t impossible, especially if we ground ourselves in community.
Anne R. Allen says in her recent post, that “Aspiring writers…make friends with each other. We get support. We network. A lot of us talk about writing and publishing. Because, um, that’s what we have in common. . . .Friends are very important in this business.”
In Natalia Sylvester’s interview with Erika Marks, Erika talks about the importance of social media to a writer’s psyche:
I know I’m supposed to see it as an extension of the business of writing, but honestly, I can’t see it that way. The friends I have made on Twitter, other writers and readers, are truly people I’ve come to feel I know and want to check in with. I never would have imagined having that sense of genuine community through social media. I am so grateful for it and for everyone I’ve met through it. As you well know, Natalia, writing can be such an isolating endeavor. It has to be, somewhat, but I think that is the appeal of something like Twitter—that it allows for communication, even if it seems brief, it can provide some much needed interaction in the midst of so much quiet.
Travel with a friend.
Almost a year ago, I wrote a post on four reasons why writing groups were critical for my success, whether that success comes in a finished story or a published book. Those reasons still hold true, especially the last one:
…I benefit from more camaraderie and support. I could tackle this novel alone, huddled over my laptop in the cold basement of my house. But, I focus better and am more driven to finish when I’m surrounded by the warm bodies of other writers.
Pack some snacks, stock up on Cherry Coke, and whatever you do, don’t go it alone.
Where do you find your community?
Christi, I am home bound and have not traveled for some time. Yet, I have the greatest group only 15 min from where I live. I travel there, we meet, share our work and end with a leisurely lunch. My book club is much the same. The rest of my time I enjoy one on-line group and my daily trek into cyber space to sit with a cup of coffee and visit with great people … like you 🙂
To have a writing group, and a book club, so close — what at treat, Florence! And, I’m glad we’ve connected online. It’s always nice to see you here.
PS. I hope being home bound is only temporary.
Yes, and thanks for asking. It is a pain … but it is temporary. In the mean time I keep busy and when weather permits I use the pool to work out.
I loved this post, Christi. Did you know that you are one of the very first writers I connected with? You made a huge difference in my life, and still do! Whenever I smell the scent of lavender, I think of your lovely gift (which I needed that day more than you could imagine)!
Beth, What an honor! I feel exactly the same. You were the first author I interviewed here, and you’ve been a great support every since — an author to model myself after, in work and in words. And, I’m so glad that gift was exactly what you needed 🙂
xoxo
I echo Beth’s comments. LOVED this post and agree 100% that the kinship of writers is paramount to success. And perhaps it’s only fitting that Beth, herself, has been one of my biggest champions … She is the definition of these online friendships that are real and helpful. There are some truly genuine folks in the writing community; to NOT experience that would be such a missed opportunity.
Melissa,
So well said.
Thanks for stopping by.
Would that I were drinking Cherry Coke. Were it not for my community, the exact thing I was thinking about only two hours ago in my kitchen socking away pumpkin spice cookies for tomorrow, I would not be up in the wee hours bumbling away at the dining room table. I hold you partly, no greatly, responsible for that, Christi. And that Beth up there, her too. 🙂
Victoria, I’m so glad you’re bumbling away. I love every one of your stories, and I can’t wait to see more of them in print.
xoxo
I’ve been thinking about this a lot recently because I find myself without a real life writers group now. I’ve had a “community” online for the past three years, and they will be even more important to me now.
I have to admit, I’m quite envious of your retreat, but I’m happy you had the experience. 🙂
Linda, I’m missing my in-person writing group these days too, which – like you say – makes those online connections so crucial.
On retreats, I saw your pictures of the Sunken Garden. Maybe they didn’t have snacks, but wow. I hope you’ve found the rest and relaxation you needed 🙂
Yes, my time away was relaxing. Thank you.
I’m so grateful for the writing friends I’ve made through my blog and on Twitter. I hate calling my Twitter/Blog friends “virtual” because their support is very real as is mine for them. Writing is a solitary process, but it doesn’t mean we can’t find support during our non-writing time. Great post!
Thanks, Nina. I’m always amazed at the magic of the Internet, and I love seeing it work in good ways.
It’s interesting. I’ve been out sick awhile and came here just to see how you were doing. I agree that the writers I’ve come to know are people I care about. I never realized it until I was out of things. Thanks for the post.
Heather, I’m so glad you stopped by, just to check in. It’s funny, how quickly writers connect. I’m glad we did. And, I hope you feel better soon.
This seems to have been a common writing theme on blog posts this week! 🙂
Having fellow writing friends, people who understand your ups and downs and most importantly, frustrations with writing is so very important.
They are also a very important factor into success as it has been mentioned. I’ve met some wonderful writers I’m proud to know. 🙂
Completely agree with all of you! Unfortunately, I haven’t connected with writers locally and I know I should. But I have such great online support that I don’t really feel a huge need to seek others near me. WHY DOES NO ONE LIVE IN KANSAS?! 🙂