Underneath all that snow, in between all those boulders, is a mess of Spring.
Lessons from Retreat: 3 Words to Aid in Novel Revisions
Like most writers, I’ve dreamed of leaving my day job behind so I could just write. But, I have much to gain by showing up at the office.
In my job that pays the bills, I am a sign language interpreter. This means I turn spoken word into a visual message using my hands, facial expressions, and body language. Okay, there’s much more to it than that,* but we’re talking writing here. The reason I mention interpreting at all is that it not only requires I navigate two languages, but it forces me to be a visual person–a skill that can only enhance my storytelling, right?
Of course, the answer is yes…when I choose to use it.
At the Salt Cay Writers Retreat last October, I met with Michelle Brower from Folio Literary Management for my one-on-one. What I learned from her has been a driving force in my current novel revisions.
First, she pointed out that I am a comma addict, which didn’t surprise me, because I’m also a bit of a control freak, and I want the reader to pause, in the sentence, when I want. Throwing in an extra comma (or five) makes me feel as if I’m, in charge. Ah, a writer’s delusions. Good times.
Anyway, and more importantly, Michelle said three magic words during our conversation that made tackling this rewrite seem possible:
Write in scene.
Marathon projects, like writing a novel, overwhelm me, and Michelle caught on to me right away. She looked me straight in the eye and spoke those words to help not only strengthen my story but make the process manageable.
She pointed out one place in my manuscript where I short-changed the reader by writing a passage as a character’s recollection instead of an in-the-moment experience:
Victor questioned Kate’s origins from the first time she walked into the Company Store, when Mrs. Kiersted sent her to buy the week’s groceries. Victor asked her straight out where she had come from, so she told him, Escanaba, which–because she took the long route from Sault Ste. Marie–wasn’t entirely a lie. Still, his eyes penetrated her that day, so that she almost blinked. He said no pretty woman arrives in a town like Fayette alone, not unless she hides something.
Then, she showed me sections where I wrote in scene with much more success, like this one:
Studying the rip in her apron as she walked across the back porch, she ran into a small girl no taller than the railing, who bounced backwards and threw her hands up to her mouth. In the girl’s eyes, Kate saw embarrassment, but more than that, mischief. Before Kate had a chance to say anything, an older girl appeared around the corner along with the woman from the ship.
“Ellen?” The woman called. Then, “Oh.” She held onto the arm of the older child and reached for Ellen.
Kate didn’t know if she should run or curtsy, apologize or simply give her name. She pressed her right hand against the tear in her apron and held out her left as she bent in an awkward bow. “You must be Mrs. Berry,” she said. She caught a glimpse of Mrs. Berry’s shoes before she stood tall again, a beautiful pair of boots whose shine couldn’t last a week during a heavy run of Fayette’s furnaces.
This idea sort of goes along with Show, don’t tell, but there’s more.
For me, “write in scene” sometimes means paying more attention to details. At other times, it means asking the right questions that reveal the best beginning and end of the scene and , as important if not more, the purpose of the scene.
Jordan E. Rosenfeld, in this article on Writers Digest, lists 10 tips for writing scenes. It’s a great article in general, but what I love most about it is the two questions Rosenfeld suggests writers should ask, questions I now display on my desktop whenever I open my draft:
1. Where are my characters in the plot? Where did I leave them and what are they doing now?
2. What is the most important piece of information that needs to be revealed in this scene?
Michelle’s feedback has helped me to keep at revisions, whereas before I sat around wondering how I would ever start, not to mention finish them. Jordenfeld’s questions take me one step further. I’m not thinking about how the scenes will tie together (not yet), I need only consider how to begin one scene, where that particular scene might end, and in what ways it moves the story forward.
Now, back to those revisions….
What do you consider when someone says, write in scene?
* If you want to know more about the complex art of interpreting, here’s an excellent article on Psychology Today, “Those Incredible Interpreters.” Thanks to Dot Hearn for linking to it on Facebook.
Q&A: Leesa Freeman, THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
‘Hi, I’m Todd and I’m an addict…’ I stared into the watery black coffee in my cup, searching for answers that weren’t there.
~ from THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
Leesa Freeman stopped by the blog in November with a guest post about her journey to publication. I invited her back to talk more about her debut novel and some of the decisions she made when writing the book.
THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE tells the story of a young man on his path of self-discovery, navigating relationships (old and new) while doing his best to stay sober. When I read this book, I wanted to ask Leesa about common issues all writers face: writing from unfamiliar perspectives, tackling intimate scenes, and tried and true advice.
I’m honored Leesa returns for an interview and am offering a giveaway at the end. Drop your name in the comments for a chance to win a signed copy of THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE (random.org will choose the winner on Tuesday, January 14th).
Now, welcome Leesa!
CC: Writing a novel challenges an author in many ways, the choice of perspective being one. THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE is told through the eyes of a young man who, after a football injury, becomes addicted to drugs and lands in rehab. What was the biggest hurdle in starting out from this point of view (which I imagine was foreign to you in a myriad of ways)?
LF: When the idea for this story came to me, there wasn’t a question in my mind that it had to be told from Todd’s point of view. There was a lot I didn’t know about him – that he was a recovering addict, for instance – but I had this overall idea about who he was and just couldn’t get him out of my mind. That said, I had no idea how to write as a guy and the last thing I wanted was for it to come off as some stereotypical dude, or worse, a chick’s schmaltzy version of a guy. I spent a long time writing some really bad stuff, paralyzed and struggling until I realized something fundamental: I wasn’t writing a guy who happened to be a person, but a person who happened to be a guy. Once I figured that out, writing Todd became much easier because those fears and inhibitions began to disappear.
CC: I don’t typically ask this next kind of question, but here goes. I’ve read my share of sex scenes in books: some smooth and well-written; others thrown at the reader in such a way that is more jarring than exciting (and even a bit rude). The passionate moments in your book unfold naturally within the storyline and never feel gratuitous. There’s a real art to making those kinds of scenes work. I have avoided writing sex so far; my stories haven’t called for it, but I admit I’d be hesitant to try even if they did. From a craft perspective, what’s one tip you could offer a scaredy-cat like me?
LF: I guess the most important thing advice I can give is to write for yourself first. That includes sex scenes as well as anything else. If I sit wondering how a reader will react to how a scene happens, I’ll never write anything. I can’t predict what will turn a reader on – or off – and I don’t try. What I do try to do is figure out what will turn my characters on, what will satisfy them, then I make sure that those scenes add to, rather than detract from the overall story. If it is sex just for sex’s sake, it gets deleted, but if it needs to be there to enhance the story and move it forward, then it stays.
CC: Tell us about your next big project.
LF: I’m in the process of looking for an agent for my novel Into the Deep End about a young man, Luke Stevenson, who has been talked into (guilted into?) working at a summer camp for kids with Spina Bifida. As a paraplegic, he has more in common with the kids than he realizes, but he is still angry from the car accident and mourning the death of his twin sister. It takes Luke time to understand that his personality is not dependent on his body, nor is his capacity to love another dependent on his ability to walk.
CC: What are you reading these days?
LF: I just finished John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars, which I loved, but I’ll read just about anything so long as it is well-written, has fascinating characters, and a rich storyline.
CC: What is one piece of writing advice that has stuck with you throughout your journey?
LF: I love the Holley Gerth quote, “Be courageous and write in a way that scares you a little.” What that means to me is I can be complacent and write something that simply skims the surface of a topic, and it may be lovely and beautiful, but I don’t know that surface writing can truly touch the reader. I don’t believe that surface writing will stay with the reader long after they close the book. To create something memorable, I need to push myself, scare myself, and explore the depths of my own emotions so the reader can also explore the depths of the character’s emotions. That is my job, and if I do it well, perhaps my characters will become as real to the reader as they do to me, not just words on a page, but living and breathing people with their own hopes, dreams, and fears.
A native Texan, Leesa Freeman enjoys escaping the chill of New England, if only in her imagination, often setting her stories in the places she loved growing up. Some of her favorite moments are the ones where it’s just her, her Mac, and simply conversing with the people who live inside her head, and sharing their lives with those who take the time to read her stories. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and two daughters, where she is also an artist, avid baker, a self-proclaimed music snob, and recovering Dr. Pepper addict. Visit her website and follow her on Facebook.
Don’t forget: Leave your name in the comments for a chance to win a copy of THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.