Writer | Teacher | Editor | Publisher
First draft,
Second draft,
Odd man out.
Print everything,
Anything.
Run the motor hot.
With reckless abandon,
Let papers fly.
Until in the quiet of late-afternoon,
Clips unbound,
Every word and weakness
Under scissors and pen,
Attack.
So, recently on janefriedman.com, Jessi Rita Hoffman wrote a guest post about “stammer” verbs, specific words to avoid when writing fiction:
…they halt the flow of a scene. Just as stammering halts speech, stammer verbs halt the flow of a written sentence. The author uses these verbs as if stammering around while searching for the genuine words she’s intending.
I knew from the first verb listed (“turned”) as problematic that I was in trouble.
Dang it.
I had already taken mental note of the number of times characters turned around or turned to each other in my novel. But after reading Hoffman’s article, I thought it might be fun to do a search in the draft and just, you know…get a real visual.
Highlighted in yellow on almost every other page…some form of turning:
…she turned….
he pointed to the counter and turned around…
just as she turned…
Mrs. Kiersted turned…
she turned to open the flour box.
he tipped his head and turned back towards the furnaces…
–Hello, whiplash.
Then this, my favorite, on page 14 of my draft:
Because, it won’t be the first time someone has turned….
And clearly, it won’t be the last. The process of writing may not always be fun, but it sure is funny.
Check out the rest of Hoffman’s article, as she offers one more troublesome verb and some simple fixes.
What’s spinning around in your draft–over and over–these days?
A few weeks ago, I slipped away to a vacation home overlooking Lake Michigan for a self-made writing retreat. Almost three full days with a writing friend on one side and a knitting friend on the other, the fridge packed with snacks, and full view of the sunrise each morning meant No reason not to write, unless you consider the senseless chatter going on in my head.
Instead of rambling on about how much time I spent staring at the screen and such, let me ask you this: Have you seen the movie Adaptation? That scene where Nicolas Cage sits down to start writing his screen play? Whether life imitates art or vice versa, what his mind rattles on about while staring at his typewriter…well, change that receding hairline into a tight ponytail and that flannel into a green hoodie. Switch out the IBM with a Mac, and you have me:
To begin.
To begin.
How to start.…
I’m hungry.
I should get coffee.
Coffee would help me think.
But I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee.
…
Coffee and a muffin.
Okay, so I need to establish the themes.
Maybe banana nut. That’s a good muffin.
I did good work over the long weekend, but only after I garbaged up on too many of those dark chocolate pomegranate thingies (I forgot the muffins) and overdosed on coffee coffee coffee. Of course, it was after all that eating and drinking that a gypsy showed up on scene. In the book, mind you, not in the living room. Though late-night writing under the glare of a phosphorescent computer screen while highly caffeinated may cause hallucinations. Anyway, it was all in the name of creativity.
How do you write? Is it over a banana nut? Because I’m partial to blueberry.
******
Unrelated to retreat but tied to story, my short fiction, “The Wurlitzer,” has been set to music and is up for your listening ears on Grand Piano Passion.
Many thanks to pianist, Nancy M. Williams and editor, Joanna Eng!
