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Lessons from Retreat: 3 Words to Aid in Novel Revisions

file6481263252226Like most writers, I’ve dreamed of leaving my day job behind so I could just write. But, I have much to gain by showing up at the office.

In my job that pays the bills, I am a sign language interpreter. This means I turn spoken word into a visual message using my hands, facial expressions, and body language. Okay, there’s much more to it than that,* but we’re talking writing here. The reason I mention interpreting at all is that it not only requires I navigate two languages, but it forces me to be a visual person–a skill that can only enhance my storytelling, right?

Of course, the answer is yes…when I choose to use it.

At the Salt Cay Writers Retreat last October, I met with Michelle Brower from Folio Literary Management for my one-on-one. What I learned from her has been a driving force in my current novel revisions.

First, she pointed out that I am a comma addict, which didn’t surprise me, because I’m also a bit of a control freak, and I want the reader to pause, in the sentence, when I want. Throwing in an extra comma (or five) makes me feel as if I’m, in charge. Ah, a writer’s delusions. Good times.

Anyway, and more importantly, Michelle said three magic words during our conversation that made tackling this rewrite seem possible:

Write in scene.

Marathon projects, like writing a novel, overwhelm me, and Michelle caught on to me right away. She looked me straight in the eye and spoke those words to help not only strengthen my story but make the process manageable.

She pointed out one place in my manuscript where I short-changed the reader by writing a passage as a character’s recollection instead of an in-the-moment experience: 

Victor questioned Kate’s origins from the first time she walked into the Company Store, when Mrs. Kiersted sent her to buy the week’s groceries. Victor asked her straight out where she had come from, so she told him, Escanaba, which–because she took the long route from Sault Ste. Marie–wasn’t entirely a lie. Still, his eyes penetrated her that day, so that she almost blinked. He said no pretty woman arrives in a town like Fayette alone, not unless she hides something.

Then, she showed me sections where I wrote in scene with much more success, like this one:

Studying the rip in her apron as she walked across the back porch, she ran into a small girl no taller than the railing, who bounced backwards and threw her hands up to her mouth. In the girl’s eyes, Kate saw embarrassment, but more than that, mischief. Before Kate had a chance to say anything, an older girl appeared around the corner along with the woman from the ship.

“Ellen?” The woman called. Then, “Oh.” She held onto the arm of the older child and reached for Ellen.

Kate didn’t know if she should run or curtsy, apologize or simply give her name. She pressed her right hand against the tear in her apron and held out her left as she bent in an awkward bow. “You must be Mrs. Berry,” she said. She caught a glimpse of Mrs. Berry’s shoes before she stood tall again, a beautiful pair of boots whose shine couldn’t last a week during a heavy run of Fayette’s furnaces.

This idea sort of goes along with Show, don’t tell, but there’s more.

For me, “write in scene” sometimes means paying more attention to details. At other times, it means asking the right questions that reveal the best beginning and end of the scene and , as important if not more, the purpose of the scene.

Jordan E. Rosenfeld, in this article on Writers Digest, lists 10 tips for writing scenes. It’s a great article in general, but what I love most about it is the two questions Rosenfeld suggests writers should ask, questions I now display on my desktop whenever I open my draft:

1. Where are my characters in the plot? Where did I leave them and what are they doing now?

2. What is the most important piece of information that needs to be revealed in this scene?

Michelle’s feedback has helped me to keep at revisions, whereas before I sat around wondering how I would ever start, not to mention finish them. Jordenfeld’s questions take me one step further. I’m not thinking about how the scenes will tie together (not yet), I need only consider how to begin one scene, where that particular scene might end, and in what ways it moves the story forward.

Now, back to those revisions….

What do you consider when someone says, write in scene?

* If you want to know more about the complex art of interpreting, here’s an excellent article on Psychology Today, “Those Incredible Interpreters.” Thanks to Dot Hearn for linking to it on Facebook.

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Lessons from Retreat: Character Development

notecardsWhen I started writing my current novel (every writer has at least one hidden away in a drawer, right?), I insisted on pre-writing and planning: outlines and character worksheets and even a concept map.

I did all of those things. But, when I sent off the first 20 pages of my manuscript to be critiqued at the Salt Cay Writers Retreat, I knew my work was lacking and fell flat in places. I just didn’t know exactly how or what I might do to set it right.

Every morning in Salt Cay, a handful of other writers and I gathered at a picnic table and–under the guidance of Chuck Adams–workshopped the pages of someone’s manuscript. When I learned my pages were up for a turn in the spotlight, I first broke out into a sweat. Then I mustered a meek, Looking forward to it (thumbs up), and wondered how I might get hold of a Bahama Mama before this whole thing got started.

I had no reason to be anxious; the critique sessions were all about encouragement and moving the story forward, not about pointing out where the story failed. But in the process of critique, weak areas become clear. On my manuscript, we talked about character, specifically the antagonist in my story, Victor Manning.

Here’s where I remind you (and myself) that writers should never take themselves too seriously. Otherwise, we lose perspective and learn nothing in the process. And, we miss out on a good time.

That’s right, Critique and Good Times can go together.

First, my colleagues at the table circled around Victor’s dialogue in a gentle sort of way. But eventually, they said my villain was too villain-esque, too sinister, to the point of resembling someone like this:

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“Boo, my pretty!”

Okay, the bow tie is deceiving, but the twirling of the mustache fit the profile. Their feedback was funny and spot-on and exactly what I needed to hear. Victor was a little too bad and completely unrelatable.

In taking a closer look at him, I also tuned into a few other overlooked (and crucial) characters’ details. I hadn’t yet figured out the name of the protagonist’s mother, first or last. While her mother doesn’t play a leading role in the story, family history does, especially names.

I had a lot of work to do, not in going all the way back to the beginning but in working on aspects of the story I wished I’d fine-tuned earlier.

There are two reasons why I struggle with character development, especially when it comes to longer projects like a novel.

1. I can be L.A.Z.Y.

I’m a born pantster when it comes to writing. That might work well when cranking out a 1500 word short story, but not a novel. In plotting and planning out the basics–I had a protagonist in mind and the skeleton of an antagonist–I figured I was good to go. I had pages to fill, after all, and a word count to meet. And laundry and dishes and lunches to make and…who has time to dig so deep into characters, major or minor? I wanted to believe that they would all flesh themselves out more fully as the story unfolded.

Even when I met with Michelle Brower for my one-on-one at the retreat and she pointed out the same issues, suggesting I sketch out my characters more, I said, “Each one?” As much work as I knew I had left to do, I was still hoping for a shortcut all around.

Lazy might not be as fitting for me as Stubborn.

2. I lack the right tool.

Stubborn isn’t all bad when I use it on the flip side. I had already bookmarked links to character worksheets and filtered through old photographs online for a face that resembled the person I aimed to grow. While physical description helped, it didn’t probe deep enough. What I needed was a way to uncover the history of these characters, so that I might discover their goals, their secrets, the good side to the antagonist, for example, as well as the bad. What I needed were more options.

I listened to the writers at critique and to Michelle, and then I asked around some more, learning about Character Interviews. Not structured interviews, but organic Q&A’s that might begin with a predictable, “In what year were you born” but lead to a more personal, “What would your father say of you now?” Questions that evolve from “listening” to the character tell his or her story.

Later, when I interviewed Victor on paper, that cartoon villain not only lost his mustache but he became flesh and bones, soul and spirit, and introduced new twists and layers to the story as a whole.

The Lessons

  1. Writing on the sidelines is as important as working on the first drafts when it comes to characters. I remind myself of that daily, because I’m still itching to get back to the real draft, even if my characters aren’t yet ready.
  2. If a certain kind of exercise or technique doesn’t give you what you need, keeping searching for one that does. Nothing is wasted in writing, even if those words never make it to a final printing.

Nothing is wasted.

(Yes. I said that twice).

How do you grow your characters?